Speed Racer, the Wachowski Brothers update of the 1970's animé hit, opens wide today. This is Andy and Larry's first directorial effort since the overblown and underwhelming The Matrix Revolutions. Though expectations have been high, reviews have been all over the place (Rotten Tomatoes has it at a 33% approval rating), ranging from horrendous to amazing.

Perhaps in an effort to let the film speak for itself, the first 7 3/4 minutes have been posted online. One thing is for sure - this is some incredible eye candy. Whether or not such can support a 2+ hour feature film is obviously a matter of opinion. Let me know what you think.


SPEED RACER - OPENING SCENE

Marvel Studios, flying high after the $200 million worldwide opening weekend of Iron Man, announced today they are starting pre-pre-production on The First Avenger: Captain America. It will hit theaters May 6, 2011. There have been some really cheesy adaptations of this over the years, but perhaps with a big theatrical budget and the same type of cinematic finesse Favreau and Downey brought to Iron Man, this could work.

At the top of the list to play buffed, tan, blond-haired, blue-eyed, broad-smiled Steve Rogers, aka Captain America is ... Matthew McConaughey.

I get it. I see it. I think this could work.

Not unlike Superman, Captain America has been criticized for being too much of a clean-cut boy scout, and being irrelevant to our modern world. Perhaps semi-badboy McConaughey can bring a little devilish charm to the role ... just please, no naked bongo playing. (For the funniest impersonation of McConaughey ever, click here.)

If you stayed after the end credits of Iron Man, you saw Sam Jackson's cameo as Nick Fury of SHIELD. His spin-off is forthcoming, as is the rumored Avengers movie. If Marvel can keep their franchises as fresh and exciting as Iron Man, this could be pretty exciting.

THE AVENGERS

WORDSLINGER'S NOTE - This is Part 3 in an ongoing series attempting to shed light on the heresy-proclaimed-as-gospel ingrained in the modern-day Christian church. I am a Christian, albeit one who is profoundly disturbed by such theologically twisted, pulpit propaganda. If you are new here, please read CHURCHIANITY PART I and PART II before continuing.

Remember George Carlin's infamous seven words you can't say on television? I won't repeat them here ... not because I'm prudish (I'm not), or worried about offending someone (you know me better than that), or that I'm afraid I'll disappoint God (disappointment connotes an expectation not met, if God is Omniscient, he cannot be disappointed). No, my point is that for decades - especially since the advent of electronic media - there has been a moral code of what is acceptable language and subject matter for public broadcast. In recent years, television producers have certainly pushed that envelope, and the FCC has adjusted accordingly. For good or ill, we have come a long way since Lucy Ricardo couldn't use the word "pregnant," Jeannie couldn't show her belly button, and Rob and Laura Petrie had to sleep in twin beds.

Beyond the FCC's regulations regarding popular media, however, the church has much more stringent rules regarding such. According to them, George Carlin was woefully short sighted in only listing seven words one can’t say on television ... or in real life for that matter. This was never more evident than in the creation of the TV language filter - a device that has always been rather disturbing to me. I understand the concern of parents in wanting to protect their children from a rain of unwanted words varying in length from four letters to twelve, but this machine dictates morality with zero consideration of context. And, as I will prove in a moment, context is everything.

Another disturbing development came earlier this decade with the creation of a company called CleanFilms - a "Christian" video rental company that edited DVDs to remove profanity, nudity, violence, crude language, and other unwanted content. Gee, I thought we were decades beyond the kind of censorship they had under Joseph Stalin, but ... I guess not. Not long after going into business, CleanFilms was sued by many Hollywood studios for copyright infringement. I am pleased to inform you that, due to the courts ruling, CleanFilms is no longer in operation.

Beyond language in media, however, there is a stigma in the church where nothing even resembling a curse word must ever be uttered. Perhaps they are heeding Ephesians 4:29, which says, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up ...

I say, let's fine tune our definition of "unwholesome talk." If you skip down a verse or two, 31-32 adds, Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

From that, I would define "unwholesome talk" as anything with HATE behind it. Which means many of words the church have labeled as VERBOTEN, are just fine. Sometimes they're the best ones to describe what one is feeling. Ever hit your head on something and cry, "Shit!" As long as it's not happening to you, it's funny. Even God thinks it's funny. Because there's nothing hateful in it. I mean, honestly, which is worse to say?

I hate you!

or

I fuckin' love you, man!

Those notorious F-bombs are in fact the world's greatest, and most diverse, modifier. Signifying something extremely good or extremely bad. Again ... CONTEXT, CONTEXT, CONTEXT!

The church's stigma of making such innocent words as darn, dang, or damn something deserving of eternal torment in h-e-double hockey sticks is pretty sick. When it comes to language, what the church should be promoting is GENUINE EXPRESSION from a GENUINE HEART - regardless of the emotion or the words. (If you read my first CHURCHIANITY post, I related a story where, after some horrendous therapy, I screamed at God every filthy foul word I could think of. His response to me not only proves my point, but was life changing.)

Offense at honest expression - including those words the aforementioned TV filter would have bleeped out - is a welcome mat for hypocrisy, emotional constipation, and putting on a fake face rather than a real one. It also (and I've said this before) is a form of Churchianity that repels more lost souls than it attracts. To those "Christians" reading this with whom I've struck a nerve here, I say, Stop majoring in the minors! Stop making us look like prudes because you think holiness has more to do with adherence to manmade rules, than being genuine and honest. Words are only as harmful as the intent behind them.

As for blasphemy ... the commandment which states, "You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain," has been misinterpreted for eons. It does not necessarily mean someone exclaiming Jesus Christ or Goddamn it! (although, again I think context needs to be taken into account ... is this a bleat of hate or just frustration?) Theologians have told us this verse actually means, Don't make a vow to God and break it. Don't say, I swear to God. Let your yes be yes, and your no be no.

I've got another definition for blasphemy ... how about calling yourself a Christian and not treating others with the same grace, mercy, and compassion that Jesus shows us? Now THAT'S taking the Lord's name in vain.

Stifling honest expression, and the myriad of colorful words which help, is promoting hypocrisy. For people who talk about the truth setting them free, I see way too many things that fly smack in the face of that. Too many things that promote falsities rather than genuineness, lies rather than truth. I am not suggesting we should all walk around talking like sailors and truck drivers (no offense to them), but I am saying sometimes honest expression requires a vocabulary with a little wider palette.

Do you agree?

Or do you think I'm full of bullshit?

Leave a comment.

The shiny new theatrical trailer for The Dark Knight has gone live, and you can watch it in high def by clicking riiiiiiiiiiiight ... here. As great as Batman Begins was (and it was), this one looks to surpass it on a number of levels.

We see much more of Heath Ledger as the Joker here, and he is just flat out creepy. This is also our first glimpse of Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent - is it just me or do we briefly see the Joker about to burn half of Harvey's face off, thereby creating Two Face? Harvey does say, "You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

Maggie Gyllenhaal replaces Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes, and I'm pleased by the swap. Nothing against the lovely Mrs. Cruise, but her performance in the last film bugged me. I didn't buy it. I've liked Maggie ever since her amazing turn in Secretary.

All of the other usual suspects (Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman) will reprise their roles here. Between this, and Iron Man, and The Incredible Hulk (even the return of Indiana Jones), it looks like 2008 is turning into the year of the grown-up superhero.

Despite the date, despite the weather, summer has officially arrived in the form of an iron clad, alcoholic, womanizing, weapons manufacturer. Marvel Studios' Iron Man (the first comic book film to be produced strictly by its parent, Paramount only did marketing on this one) is a knock out. Before seeing it, I heard some critics compare it to Spider-Man 2. Is it as good as that amazing sequel? Not quite. But it is far better than Spidey 3.

Robert Downey Jr. amazes as Tony Stark, the aforementioned alter ego of our titular hero. After being kidnapped in Afghanistan (by someone who might as well be Osama Bin Laden), he is threatened with death if he doesn't make some missiles. If you've seen the trailer, you already know that Stark does not bow to this threat. He builds instead a flying, decked out, nearly indestructible suit of iron, and busts his way out of hell. While doing so, this cocky playboy also has a crisis of conscience which makes him question his line of work.

This does not go down well with Tony's partner, Obadiah Stane (Jeff Bridges), who with full beard and shaved head (looking verrrrrrrrrrry un-Dude) will eventually become Tony's arch enemy, Iron Monger. Bridges - in my opinion, the most underrated American actor of the last 30 years - does excellent work here, lending just the right amount of gravitas to the proceedings.

Gwyneth Paltrow also gives fine support as Tony's assistant, Pepper Potts. I hate to mix Marvel and DC metaphors, but she's like Alfred Pennyworth to Stark's Bruce Wayne ... only a lot easier on the eyes. Love the way she "takes out the trash."

Director Jon Favreau (Swingers, Elf) gives his own career a rocket-powered boost with this solid effort - a sequel was greenlit two days before the movie opened. Favreau has a couple of cameos as Stark's bodyguard/chauffeur, Happy Hogan. When asked about the controversial casting of Downey, the director said, "The best and worst moments of Robert's life have been in the public eye. He had to find an inner balance to overcome obstacles that went far beyond his career. That's Tony Stark. Robert brings a depth that goes beyond a comic-book character who is having trouble in high school, or can't get the girl." A "likable asshole" was needed for the role, and Downey was able to pull off dual feat, winning the audiences approval many times over during the film.

Inarguably, Robert Downey Jr. is the STAR of this very entertaining movie. His nuanced performance has equal amounts humor, swagger, and pathos. It is also refreshing to have superhero pushing middle age (Downey is 43). By the time Tony utters his perfectly pitched, final line of dialogue, and cues up the Black Sabbath song the audience has been waiting to hear for two hours (much like Daniel Craig in Casino Royale), he has earned the right to say it.

It takes a long time to actually see Iron Man in action in the film, but the set-up is so brilliant, the payoff is worth the wait. The bigger and better sequel will not have this problem. Make sure you stay through the final credits for a very cool surprise.

Like a hip cross between Transformers and The Rocketeer, Iron Man soars.

IRON MAN - B+


IRON MAN - theatrical trailer

The new theatrical trailer for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has been released online and to theaters. Bon appétit.

If you prefer glorious QuickTime high def, click one of the following:

high definition trailer - medium
high definition trailer - large


INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL
(new theatrical trailer)




Here is a bonus video for you ... just because I care.


INDY 4 LOOKS BACK AT THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY - part 1 of 2
(cool new documentary)




INDY 4 LOOKS BACK AT THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY - part 2 of 2
(cool new documentary)

I mentioned in a previous post, Bionic Blunder, that ABC's two classic series from the seventies, The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman were NOT available on DVD. Since I explained why in that post, I won't repeat myself here. I also mentioned that, of the three Bionic Reunion movies produced in the late 80s/early 90s, 1989's Bionic Showdown featured a young Sandra Bullock as Kate Mason, the new bionic girl.

As big of a fan as I was of the original shows, these reunion films were all pretty bad. Er ... make that REALLY BAD. Rather than focusing on Steve and Jamie, new and younger costars were featured in an ill-fated effort to find a new spinoff series.

I only bring this up because ... I recently found a clip of young Sandy B. as the bionic girl and thought I'd share it. The dialogue is horrible, the acting is horrendous, and someone's idea of improved bionic effects was adding a little blur to the slow motion. One could throw some Cheetos, Cheez-its, and Cheez-Whiz into a blender and not come up with something this cheesetastic. And yet, our affection for Ms. Bullock makes this oddly watchable.

Here you go ... don't say I didn't warn you.


SANDRA BULLOCK AS THE BIONIC GIRL - BIONIC SHOWDOWN (1989)




LINDSAY WAGNER - BIONIC WOMAN MONTAGE
(good fan edit to Tom Petty's American Girl ... to cleanse your palette)

A second TV teaser for Indy 4 just appeared online. New to this spot are dialogue from Cate Blanchett as Irina Spalko, a pitch perfect Indy retort, a motorcycle escape with Indy and Mutt, and brief snippets of bigger, badder set pieces. No word when we'll be getting the real theatrical trailer (gotta be soon, Memorial Day is around the corner), but until then ... here you go.

In my last post, I reported on a possible reunion between the original doobie brothers, Cheech and Chong. I mentioned there that a proposed 2003 film, Cheech and Chong Get Blunt was waylaid when Tommy was arrested by the government for selling Chong Bongs on the internet.

I recall being pretty pissed about it at the time, and thinking, Does our government really have nothing better to spend their time and our tax dollars on than going after Tommy Chong?

Tommy served nine months and was released in 2004.

I was reminded of all this when I saw that a documentary about the event had been produced and is currently available on DVD.

Titled a/k/a Tommy Chong, the film details the set-up, sting, and (bullshit) takedown of Thomas B Kin Chong. Entrapment is illegal in this country, but the clips below make it obvious that the government's "Operation PipeDreams" set out to make an example of Chong, even using Cheech and Chong film clips to incriminate him.

Check out the trailer below, along with an exclusive interview from his time in prison. This looks to be eye-opening and entertaining, although ...

Stories like this that do nothing to stir my American pride. I do not suffer bullshit gladly, and this is BULLSHIT of the highest order.


a/k/a TOMMY CHONG - trailer




INTERVIEW WITH TOMMY CHONG FROM PRISON - 2004
(fascinating interview - guy seemed to be in pretty good spirits considering)

Fans of Cheech and Chong (of which I am certainly one) may not need to wait much longer for their long rumored reunion movie. After breaking up in the 80s, news circulated in 2003 that Richard "Cheech" Marin and Tommy Chong were going to re-team for their first movie in almost 20 years. Tenatively titled Cheech and Chong Get Blunt, the project fell through when Tommy was the victim of a government sting, and was arrested for selling Chong Bongs on the internet (more about that travesty in my next post). He served nine months and was released in 2004.

This week, however, the two classic comedians appeared on Los Angeles radio station, KRTH, to promote a 30th anniversary screening of Up in Smoke. In the interview, they don't mention anything about a new film, but it's great to see them together again. Many reports indicate the two are getting along famously and may indeed revive the long stalled project.

Here's toking ... I mean hoping.


CHEECH AND CHONG ON KRTH LOS ANGELES (4-18-08)
PART 1




CHEECH AND CHONG ON KRTH LOS ANGELES (4-18-08)
PART 2